Talk:Pumpkin Moon/@comment-24143898-20171130013645
ok here is your penultimate comment - in other words, chapters 15 to 17! SPOILERS Chapters Fifteen, Sixteen, and Seventeen: Fifteen - Okay, so now I'm doubting what I said in my previous comment with Scarlet and Gouda having a history xD now I'm thinking that Gouda just picked up Scarlet's name from those evil dudes talking. (or am I overthinking this? idk. maybe I am overthinking it). aNYWAYS, Scarlet's definitely playing the Target-minion role (not surprising really). Judging by the fact that she's asking for his allies shows this - and yes it does feel that Gouda's little group is under threat. this isn't going to end well oh great there's more groups oh dear. I'm interested to know who The Birds actually are. Judging by this, they seem to be associated with Target's group of minions (villains was mentioned = evil dudes). Also, I feel as though they'd be connected with birds somehow, judging by the name (bc why else would you call something The Birds? hmmmm). eXCUSE ME WHAT I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING WHY DANG NIGHT JUST WHEN I THINK I KNOW WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING YOU BRING UP SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAT IS NOT EXPECTED. -coughs- sorry about caps but still. Gouda's mother (who I also assume is the cat that the bad dudes bring in at the end of the chapter) works for the bad guys? And she used to have powers? This world is so complex (really good job on that, again) and there's never an end to this hhhh overall, chapter was rather short and a little fast-paced, but a goodie :D Chapter Sixteen - here comes a storm: a literal and metaphorical one. There's trouble brewing between Jay and the rest of the evil dudes (can't be bothered writing down all their names lol) and this means trouble. FLARE! the dude who saves Gouda yay. I feel as though his attempts are going to fail though. jay's all-powerful, target's a real evil dude, violet and scarlet are targetspawn (also evil dudes), and then there's shady alari (who's also an evil dude xD). I don't think this is going to end well. cue drama So Flare and Target are fighting, yes? It's not exactly clear. Also yes my previous prediction was right: Jay seems to be from the birds and appears to be a cat-bird hybrid or something. surfing on lightning what you'd think Gouda would get singed xD but then again, this shows how different the world is from say, where you'd usually expect a cat to be. One thing that's good is that you've kept this up throughout, and it hasn't been inconsistent either. really good job ok (ik I've said this already, and earlier in this comment but I feel the need to reiterate it :P) also dang a cliffy whyyyy overall thoughts on chapter - longer, full of action (good!), but maybe a little fast-paced? It doesn't stop me from understanding what's going on, but sometimes it goes really fast. still good though. As for Chapter Seventeen - now we finally get a link to the title(!). The Pumpkin Moon hmm. This has to do with something (I'm thinking orange moon for some reason? I think i'm taking this too literally oops) important if it's in the title. I'd imagine we find out soon, yes? There's not many more chapters to go so ~ oh yippee. this obviously hasn't been solved yet. part of me expected that, especially given the cliffhanger of the previous chapter when Jay missed Gouda, but half of me is like dudes stop fighting already hhh (it feels like they've been fighting for ages now). oh so the moon is orange it wasn't me xD Also Flare you are wISE. Just get it over and done with, and that means there's less fighting! I now like Flare a lot more (although I still like Gouda), as he's actually trying to do something about this. good kid. also Target calling Flare a wimp. actually a true thing to say for once, as now Gouda seems to be becoming more of a scaredy-cat that I originally thought of him to be. also can I confirm that Target also can light fires? I feel as though some of the fires in this chapter in particular were his doing :P. also, he's russet? danggg I thought he was black for some reason - did I only just realise that now? xD and here we go! battle dundundun. i'll cover this in my next comment (the last one I'll write for this story) but I'm excited for this! I feel as though Flare will get involved more in this than Gouda will, because Gouda's turning chicken (oh dear). this is going to be a good battle hmmm. someone will die I guarantee it Comments for this chapter - again, like the others, is a little fast-aced, but a goodie. good build up too - now the story's getting ready to conclude. Overall comments for the three chapters - I don't have much else to say really apart from the comments after each chapter - but good job! I'm hoping that these last three chapters (well, two chapters and an epilogue, whatever) don't disappoint c: END SPOILERS also this is another really long comment yippee since when were my comments this long